"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
07/29/2016 at 17:54 • Filed to: but i want it now!
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"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
07/29/2016 at 17:54 • Filed to: but i want it now! | 3
| 10 |
Customer: “I think there’s something wrong with my [product]. I think it needs [list of things it doesn’t actually need] because it’s [actually performing exactly as inspected].”
Me: “Alright, we’ll get an inspection written up for you and contact you when we can have one our [TEAMMATES!] get out there and assess the situation.”
C: “I already told you the situation.”
M: “Yes, and we will send someone out who can assess and remedy the situation.”
C: “You mean I have to wait for another [what would be the second, this one being the first] phone call?!”
M: “Yes, but —”
C: “Well [huffs loudly] I don’t like that at all!”
Me for now the third time: “We’ll call you when we can send someone out.”
C: “[laughs] Alright, I guess that’s fine...”
M: “Yep. Bye.”
OPPOsaurus WRX
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/29/2016 at 17:59 |
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“I think there’s something wrong with you. I think you need to shut the fuck up because you don’t know what your talking about.”
Try that next time
Funktheduck
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/29/2016 at 18:11 |
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“Sometimes these things come off the floor a little possessed. All of our Italian priests are on service calls smiting various demons and ghouls that slipped through quality control. Tricky things they are.
You see, we had several other priests but they either quit or were slaughtered when they went against ‘it shall not be named’ and we’re a smidge understaffed.
Anyway, as long as it’s not doing (the thing you just described) you’ll be safe. We found those demons to be particularly nasty and like to rip people open from the inside out. We’ll contact you as soon as we find another priest desperate for money or returns from another service call. Have a nice day!”
*click*
Spaceball-Two
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/29/2016 at 18:13 |
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The one I like is
“What do you mean my payment is past due? You mean I have to start paying this money back right away? I thought it wasn’t due until construction was finished”
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Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
> Spaceball-Two
07/29/2016 at 18:20 |
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They want service now, but want to pay later (maybe)
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Spaceball-Two
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/29/2016 at 18:27 |
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In some cases not pay at all!
Sovereign, Purveyor of Coupes
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/29/2016 at 18:28 |
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Almost the exact same conversation plays out when people call me with a problem with their car. People expect you to diagnose things over the phone.
If you’ve got such a handle on the problem why the hell are you calling me?!
AMGtech - now with more recalls!
> Sovereign, Purveyor of Coupes
07/29/2016 at 18:39 |
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They call our parts department trying to get diagnosis over the phone because they have no simple and direct access to techs and service advisors won’t diagnose. Our parts guys don’t even know why we replace things. They can tell you how many of something they’ve sold but that’s about it.
NJAnon
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/29/2016 at 19:49 |
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The dreaded over the phone “get this resolved through osmosis and telepathy” calls make me really dread ever owning a business among other things.
I haven’t worked at those kinds of jobs & I’m not one to believe an issue can be fixed like that. Even hardcore oppo can be rational.
Leadbull
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/29/2016 at 20:42 |
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gmporschenut also a fan of hondas
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/29/2016 at 21:35 |
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C: We want to have bi weekly meetings (Tuesday and thurs afternoon)
.... is that all you have done.
Me: well I only have 14 hours clocked on this project..... so yeah